


Hot Cocoa To-Go

by ofarrowsandspacemen



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: AU, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gilmore Girls AU, One Shot, diner au, kind of, small town AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 13:13:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5128901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofarrowsandspacemen/pseuds/ofarrowsandspacemen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically, in my excitement for Gilmore Girls' return to my TV, I give you a small town diner AU starring Hollstein. </p><p>AKA</p><p>Carmilla, the surly diner owner, and Laura, a young novelist, fall a little more in love with each other everyday but are too oblivious to realize it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hot Cocoa To-Go

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, boy. I have not posted a fanfiction in many moons. So, I do ask for forgiveness if this is a little rough. But with Gilmore Girls coming back and the Carmilla fandom always in need of fluff, I couldn't get this plot bunny to go away. 
> 
> I don't have a beta, so all the mistakes are me. Feel free to point them out! I have no idea how AO3 works. Fair warning. 
> 
> Enjoy!

The entrance bell chimed as Laura burst through the door.

 

"Welcome to Silas, what can I - Oh, cupcake, its you."

 

Carmilla's voice fell into its typical careless drawl as her eyes fell on Laura rushing to the counter.

 

"Hot chocolate to-go." She breathed as her hands slammed on the counter, her body nearly colliding with the stool in front of her. She was out of breath, her hair wild around her in an array of loose waves, and a soft pink warmed the apples of her cheeks. She looked rather pretty. Carmilla's eyes swept over her, shaking the thought, before hustling to make the hot chocolate.

 

"Busy morning?" Carmilla offered in way of conversation.

 

Laura sighed behind her. "You have no idea. My editor has been hounding me all morning for new pages, my parents are coming into town tomorrow so I have to hide every sharp object in my house because my dad thinks I'm gonna accidentally hurt myself, my bike  has been missing for three days and I keep getting ransom notes for it from someone who I suspect is getting great pleasure in my annoyance and -"

 

"Cupcake." Carmilla cut in. "You could have just said "yes"."

 

She slid the to-go hot chocolate across the counter.

 

Laura's mouth snapped shut and she shook her head, a small smile threatening to bloom on her face. She grabbed the cup and sighed.

 

"Is that anyway to talk to your best customer?" Laura threw a few crinkled bills on the counter. Carmilla didn't respond, just rolled her eyes and took the money as Laura flew out the door.

 

\---

 

It was snowing. The first snow of the season. Laura could barely contain her excitement. She wandered around town in the dark, her hands shoved deep into the pockets of her worn maroon coat. It was too late to be out, too late to be awake if she was honest, but she couldn't sleep and the snow dusted streets had called to her.

 

She was just about to pass by Silas, her eyes instinctually going to the windows. There, sitting in soft golden light, nursing a beer, was the brooding diner owner. Carmilla was sporting her typical clothes; a ratty flannel shirt and obscenely tight pants. But her usual backwards baseball cap was missing. Instead of the low ponytail she traditionally tucked behind a tattered hat bill, her dark curls were loose and free around her shoulders. Laura stopped walking, her breath stolen from her.

 

She always knew Carmilla was beautiful; anyone with eyes could see that. She had a jaw that looked liked it was made of marble, eyes so dark that they could swallow you. But Laura had never seen her with her hair down. It shouldn't have been surprising. Yet, somehow, it was.

 

Laura debated wandering across the street and knocking on the door. She thought about sitting down with Carmilla and peeling away the layers to see who she really was underneath all the grump.

 

Instead, Laura continued through town, watching as the snow piled up around her.

 

\---

 

Carmilla hated the cold. She also hated the heat. The only weather that suited her was fall; chilly but not irritating, winds filled with the smell of leaves and wet dirt, soft storms that echoed around her apartment. But it wasn't fall. It was winter and the bed of her truck was full of snow because the idiot weatherman hadn't predicted the storm.

 

She had to clean it either before opening the diner or after close and, since she'd barely slept anyway, she decided morning was best. Just as she began scooping out the muck, a voice piped up behind her.

 

"Snow catch you off guard?"

 

Carmilla turned to find Laura standing next to Silas's door. She was wrapped in a big maroon coat that had seen better days, but still managed to look delightfully warm. Her hands were buried deep in the pockets, her head covered by a dark green beanie. The sun was just rising and Carmilla had to take a breath, ignoring the way her eyes wanted to linger on Laura's slightly pink cheeks in the early light.

 

"Surprised to see you awake at this hour, cupcake."

 

Laura laughed, shrugging. "Have a meeting out of town today. Unfortunately, my editor doesn't like to sleep in." She nodded her head toward the diner. "Mind if I make you open a little early? I don't think I'll survive the day without your hot cocoa."

 

Carmilla sighed, wandering toward the door as she clapped her gloves free of loose snow. She opened the door and usher Laura in. The woman brushed past her, her light perfume invading Carmilla's senses and throwing her off balance.

 

"You're lucky you're cute." Carmilla mumbled as she made her way behind the counter.

 

She hadn't realized what she had said until she slid a to-go cup into Laura's waiting hands. Laura's eyes were wide, her cheeks an endearing shade of red. Carmilla ignored the flip in her stomach. She didn't know what made her say that. But, it was true. Laura was insanely cute. Not that Carmilla had noticed.

 

"Good luck today, Sundance." Carmilla said, her voice lower than intended.

 

Laura shook her head, laughing lightly and she nervously took the cup.

 

"Thanks, Carm."

 

Without pausing to see Carmilla's reaction to the nickname, Laura dropped a few bills on the counter and darted out the door. Carmilla watched her disappear into the morning. As she stood frozen behind the counter, Carmilla let out a long sigh. After a few minutes, she began readying the diner for the day, all the while desperately trying to avoid the part of her mind that wanted to hear Laura say her name again.

 

\---

 

Laura groaned, dropping her head to the table. She was down on pages and her deadline was breathing down her neck. She wasn't going to make it. How had the great writers worked like this? Could they handle the pressure? Was she not cut out for it? Another groan escaped her.

 

Something thunked down on the table. "Pancakes, side of bacon."

 

Carmilla's voice caused Laura to lift her head from the tabletop. She smirked down at Laura, arms crossed.

 

"Rough morning?"

 

Laura nearly groaned. "Of all the days for you to be chipper, you pick today?"

 

Carmilla laughed. The sound was rudely pretty. Laura shook away the thought.

 

"Don't think "chipper" has ever been used to describe me. But your usual sunny demeanor is noticeably absent this morning. What gives, cutie?"

 

Laura fought a smile at the nickname.

 

"Just some…work stuff. Feeling a little overwhelmed and inadequate today is all." She sighed, poking at her pancakes. The thoughts were still bouncing around in her head; all the pressure, the writer's block, the nerves. She sighed.

 

Carmilla stared at her for a moment before wandering back into the kitchen. Laura wasn't surprised. The diner owner wasn't exactly the warm and fuzzy comforting type. Not that Laura wanted to be comforted. Not by Carmilla. Not that Carmilla would. Ever.  

 

Just as Laura was about to attempt to pick around her meal, Carmilla reemerged from the back with a bowl. She placed it down on the table next to Laura's pancakes.

 

Inside the bowl was the biggest sundae Laura had ever seen. Three different types of ice cream, a mountain of whipped cream, layers of peanuts and marshmallows, all topped with two cherries. Laura stared at the item before looking up at Carmilla.

 

"What is this?" Laura asked, surprise evident.

 

Carmilla shrugged, a hand rubbing at the back of her neck. "Uh, you were sad. And you like sugar. So…Figured you get to have dessert for breakfast today."

 

Laura's mouth fell open and she snapped it back shut, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. Carmilla's ears slowly were turning pink under Laura's gaze, a blush that echoed the redness creeping up her long neck.

 

"You made me a sundae." Laura finally said.

 

Carmilla cleared her throat and rolled her eyes. "Don't go picking out china patterns, princess. Just didn't want your melancholia to chase away my customers."

 

Laura tiled her head to the side, unable to resist teasing. "Why, Carm, you actually are just a big softy, aren't you?"

 

Carmilla groaned, her hand reaching out to snatch the bowl back. Laura's hand shot out and grabbed the diner owner's wrist. At the contact, Laura's whole hand warmed. Carmilla's skin was shockingly soft. Indescribably soft. How could someone's wrist feel like that?

 

Carmilla's eyes caught Laura's and Laura forced her wandering thoughts in order. "Sorry." Laura breathed, her hand retracting slowly. Her fingers dragged against Carmilla's wrist and Laura wondered if she was imagining the goosebumps along her delicate skin.

 

"Thank you…for the sundae." She finally breathed.

 

Carmilla's ears were pink again. With a small smile and swift nod, the woman disappeared back into the kitchen. Laura let out a breath as the diner owner disappeared. She didn't know what that was, in truth she didn't know if she should even try and explain it, but Laura knew that whatever had just happened was definitely something she wouldn't mind repeating.

 

\---

 

Carmilla tugged her hat off, wiping the back of her hand across her sweaty forehead. She hadn't had a rush like that in months. They came like storms, for some reason. Weeks would go by with the usuals rolling in and out like clockwork and then, one night, the place would explode. Tonight had been the explosion. For the thousandth time, she thanked the stars that she loved her work. Doing this without a love for it would have been impossible.

 

She tossed the dark hat on the counter and tugged at her low ponytail. Slowly she worked her fingers through her dark curls, pressing her fingertips against her scalp. She plopped down into the closest chair, leaning back and closing her eyes. She ran her hands through the strands, feeling the tension leak out of her.

 

Carmilla knew she needed to wipe down the tables and lock up, but all she wanted to do was sit and breathe. She sighed as her hands worked through her hair, loosening the knots and causing the tresses to fall around her shoulders.

 

Suddenly, a crash came from her left. Carmilla sat up right, her eyes instantly moving toward the sound. Laura was outside the window, eyes locked on Carmilla and a grocery bag broken at her feet. Carmilla jumped out of her chair and rushed out the door.

 

"You okay, cupcake?" She said, trotting to where Laura was now scrambling to gather her rolling items.

 

Laura nodded vigorously, her eyes looking everywhere but at Carmilla. "Yep, good. So good. The best. Never, um, never better."

 

Carmilla knelt next to her, grabbing the stray groceries. "You sure? You seem a little frazzled."

 

Laura looked up, her dark eyes wide and her cheeks pink. Carmilla sucked in a sharp breath. When did Laura start doing that to her? Better question; why did Laura keep doing that to her? Carmilla watched her tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she reached for the last run away can.

 

"Not frazzled. Never frazzled. Completely unfrazzled."

 

Both women stood and Carmilla handed Laura the last item; a small package of chocolate chip cookies. Laura's fingers brushed against her own and Carmilla tried to force the blush creeping up her neck down.  Laura's eyes lingered on Carmilla's face, moving to her hair and then down to her neck. Carmilla watched a matching blush darken Laura's cheeks.

 

"Um, well…I'll see you tomorrow, then." Laura took a stumbling step before trotting away into the night.

 

"Yeah…" Carmilla said to no one. "Tomorrow."

 

\---

 

Tomorrow came and then it went. Weeks and months of hot chocolates, small meetings, slow smiles. Carmilla came to expect Laura every day. Laura couldn't function without a Silas breakfast and hot chocolate.

 

Carmilla tried to ignore how her chest would tighten when Laura walked into the diner each morning. She tried.

 

But, like most things, Carmilla wasn't very good at it.

 

\---

 

Carmilla swiped a rag over the stove top one last time and inspected her work. Clean as the old thing was going to get. That's what she gets for refusing to replace it when she took over the damn place. With a sigh, she turned out the lights in the kitchen and wandered into the front, ready to lock up and get some well deserved rest.

 

When she rounded the corner and looked out to the diner's tables, she didn't expect to see Laura in the far corner with her head in her hands. Even from across the room, Carmilla could tell she was crying. It made her stomach clench.

 

"Cupcake?" Carmilla whispered, unsure if she should make her presence known.

 

Laura didn't seem to take any notice. Without thinking, Carmilla was suddenly kneeling beside her. The girl's body was shivering, short ragged breaths attempting to hold in sobs. Carmilla could feel her own heart breaking at the sound.

 

"Laura…" She murmured as her hand slid to Laura's back.

 

After a deep shuddering breath, Laura lifted her head. She looked at Carmilla, eyes red rimmed and puffy. For a second, they just stared at one another. Carmilla tried to understand what Laura was trying to tell her, but she'd never been good at reading people. She'd never been good with people at all. Minutes passed and a new wave of tears overflowed out of Laura's eyes.

 

"My mom died."

 

At the utterance, Laura collapsed into sobs. Carmilla surged forward and let Laura fall into her. After twenty minutes, Carmilla's knees felt like they were going to snap in two from kneeling on the linoleum. Still, it didn't stop her from letting Laura stay exactly where she was for thirty minutes more.

 

\---

 

Laura had been in a funk for months. She knew why. Her mom died. The weird ache in her chest was a constant reminder that what had once been there wasn't anymore. And she didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to fix it. She didn't think she could.

 

She had trouble sleeping. She'd been bad at it before, but since her mother's death it had gotten worse. At night, when she couldn't manage to get comfortable, she'd wander the town. The streets were well lit and warm and, while it wasn't her mother, it felt familiar in a way that made her less homesick.

 

It was unseasonably chilly as Laura trudged around in the amber light from the street lamps. She hadn't pulled on a sweatshirt as she left and now she was regretting it. Yet, a part of her was glad to feel the cold prickling against her skin. It felt nice to feel.

 

She was nearing Silas when she noticed the golden light pouring out from the windows. As she wandered across from it, she spotted Carmilla. An empty beer by her hand and her baseball cap long gone, she sat hunched over with her head in her hands. Laura watched her, the memories of that night so long ago when Carmilla had comforted her swimming in her mind.

 

She hadn't been to the diner since. For some reason, she just couldn't go in. Carmilla had been nothing but kind to her that night. Laura had sobbed and Carmilla held her and never asked for any details. She'd given her a hot chocolate and lead her upstairs to the tiny apartment above. Carmilla had tucked Laura into bed, rubbing soothing circles on her back until she had cried herself to sleep, and in the morning Laura had snuck out without so much as a thank you.

 

She didn't know why she did that. But the idea of talking about it; about her mom, about that night, about how Carmilla comforted her in a way she'd never known…Laura was content to not do that. Instead, she had fled and avoided Silas and, by association, Carmilla.

 

Laura's chest ached watching her in the window. Carmilla's body was both ridged and weary, her hands fisted in her dark tangles.

 

Without pausing to question it, Laura crossed the street, opened the unlocked diner door, and nearly flinched when the familiar bell dinged overhead. Carmilla looked up, startled. Her eyes were dry, but they were swimming with something painful and unnamable. For the longest moment of her life, they just stared at one another.

 

"My mother's dead." Laura blurted, unsure where it came from. It was an attempted excuse, she knew. It wasn't enough. But it was all her mind could think of.

 

A sad smile slid over Carmilla's exquisite features as her body released the weird tension it had been holding. She exhaled, slow and even, before responding.

 

"I know."

 

Laura opened her mouth to spout something, anything. But words wouldn't come out. Carmilla saved her the embarrassment and nudged the chair across from her with the toe of her boot. Wordlessly, Laura sat down.

 

Another silence stretched between them. Laura could feel the discomfort crawling up the back of her neck. Normally, she'd fill the silence with words upon words but now she couldn't think of anything worth saying.

 

Carmilla looked at her, her gaze unwavering. Then, she stood. She moved gracefully behind the counter and began shuffling around. When she sat back at the table a few minutes later, she slid a hot chocolate toward Laura.

 

"Careful, cupcake. It's hot."

 

Laura looked at the mug and then back to Carmilla. She didn't know what to say. Carmilla rolled her eyes, plunking her feet up on a corner of the table and leaning back in her chair before fixing Laura with a hard glare.

 

"What? You think I'd forget my best customer's order?"

 

Laura took a tentative sip and felt her whole body warm. Even in the haze of her mourning, she knew the feeling had less to do with the drink in her hands and more to do with the woman across from her.

 

\---

 

After that, the nighttime became their secret thing. When Laura couldn't sleep and would wander the streets, she knew that Carmilla, too, would be up.

 

She'd sit in the diner with Carmilla, sometimes in the dark or in a soft yellow light from the back kitchen, and they'd talk. Mostly about nothing, but sometimes about everything, and when Laura went back home after, she would sleep soundly the rest of the night.

 

Both women tried to pretend it was a casual event, happenstance between two people who had trouble sleeping.

 

But when Carmilla stopped to think about it, she realized she waited all day just for the chance to see Laura at night.

 

And when Laura took to the streets to calm her restless thoughts, she tried to ignore that it was actually the diner owner who could put her mind at ease.

 

\---

 

"Cupcake, I am not doing this."

 

Carmilla groaned as Laura dragged her out of Silas and into the town square.

 

"Please, Carm. I'm going away for twelve weeks for my book tour. This is the last annoying thing I'll ask of you until I get back. The very least you can do is participate in one measly town function with me."

 

"I have customers."

 

Laura rolled her eyes as her grip on Carmilla's wrist tightened.

 

"I left the stove on."

 

Laura shoved Carmilla's shoulders and forced her to sit on an old park bench.

 

"Someone could be robbing me."

 

"Oh, hush." Laura answered, plopping down next to her.

 

Carmilla shook her head, watching the idiot fair in front of her. There were flowers everywhere and kids trotting around a may pole. Somewhere, a barbershop quartet was singing an old-timey tune that was grating on her nerves.

 

She glanced over at Laura who was bobbing along to the beat. Her honey colored hair was draped over her shoulders, her eyes bright with childlike glee. Carmilla felt her chest tighten at the sight. That had been happening a lot lately. If she was honest, it had been happening a lot for a while. But Carmilla didn't enjoy being honest. Specifically about her maybe, definitely, super certain feelings for the tiny novelist beside her.

 

"You're ridiculous." Carmilla said, though her voice came out softer than she had intended.

 

Laura laughed, looking over at her.

 

"Yeah, but you're gonna miss me while I'm away."

 

Laura turned back to the festivities, smile still plastered to her face. Carmilla had to bite her tongue to stop herself from admitting how true that was.

 

\---

 

Laura didn't know Carmilla's phone number. The thought hit her about three weeks into her book tour. She didn't know where the thought came from or what exactly triggered it, but it came unbidden into her mind anyway.

 

She shook it away, turning back to the fan who had asked her to sign a copy of her book. If she remembered, she'd think about why that fact bothered her so much later. For now, she had other things to focus on.

 

\---

 

Carmilla used a planner, to mark when deliveries were supposed to arrive and to keep track of the number of customers she served per day. She didn't keep anything personal in it, it was just for work.

 

So, she tried not to read into why she wrote down the day Laura's supposed to come home.

 

She tried, but every day she'd see the mark on the page and her heart knew it was one day closer to the novelist being home.

 

Carmilla was starting not to mind the way her chest warmed at the thought.

 

\---

 

Carmilla should have seen it coming, really. She wasn't good at reading people. She knew that. But she thought she was getting marginally better. She thought she could at least read Laura. Apparently, she was wrong.

 

She was demonstrably wrong. Because when Laura came back from the book tour, the twelve weeks away that had proven to Carmilla just how screwed she was, she brought home a giant ginger who would hold her hand and kiss her cheek all over town.

 

And the worst of it was, there was no one to blame but herself. Carmilla hadn't reached out to Laura, hadn't been bold or forward or even overly flirtatious. She'd been tentative and barely nice and she hadn't even bothered to get her phone number for the weeks she was away. Weeks where she was off meeting people. Weeks were she met someone. Weeks that, Carmilla knew, had made her too late.

 

Carmilla burned every meal she made the day Laura came back.

 

And for the two weeks after.

 

\---

 

"Your cooking really went down the drain while I was away." Laura joked as she finished her breakfast. Carmilla was cleaning the table next to where she was sitting. Danny had run to the restroom and Laura took the opportunity to try and spark conversation with the oddly distant diner owner.

 

"You don't like it, you can go somewhere else." Carmilla bit out, snatching Laura and Danny's plates.

 

"Carm, that's not-"

 

Laura tried to apologize but Carmilla disappeared into the kitchen before the words fully formed. Laura felt like she'd been slapped. Carmilla was always a little prickly, but never to Laura. Especially not to her. Not after everything. Not after the nights they had spent in the diner. Though…they hadn't had any of those nights since she came back from the book tour. She hadn't realized that until now. And they hadn't actually had a proper conversation since Laura had come back. She'd introduced to her to Danny, she'd come by for her daily hot chocolates but beyond that, it was as if their previous…whatever was gone.

 

Laura was so fixated on the doorway to the kitchen, she didn't notice Danny calling her name until she shook her shoulder.

 

"You okay, Hollis?" Danny asked, smiling easily.

 

Laura nodded, forcing a smile back at her. "Fine. Totally, 100% fine."

 

Danny took her hand and Laura ignore the part of her that wanted to stay in the diner until Carmilla appeared again.

 

\---

 

"That diner girl is a real piece of work."

 

Laura looked up from her laptop, eyes landing on Danny as she tossed her keys on the kitchen table.

 

"Diner girl?" Laura questioned, her head still a little lost in the last sentence she had typed out.

 

Danny huffed. "Yeah, Mircalla or whatever the hell her name is."

 

"Carmilla." Laura immediately corrected.

 

Danny crossed to the fridge, throwing open the door and rummaging around. Her voice echoed inside as she spoke.

 

"I went to order a coffee, a simple coffee, and she told me she was out."

 

She popped out of the fridge holding an apple and plopped down across from Laura.

 

"Out?"

 

Danny took a crisp bite and nodded. "Yeah, out. Then, she poured someone else a cup right in front of me. Asshole."

 

Laura felt her chest tighten. Carmilla wasn't an asshole. Sure, she was rude and a little rough around the edges, but she wasn't an asshole. She didn't like Danny calling Carmilla that. In fact, Laura didn't much care for Danny talking about her at all. A flare of anger swept through her and then was gone like a flash lightning. She shook her head, trying to rid the memory of the feeling. She didn't know where that came from…she ignored it.

 

"I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it." Laura finally responded.

 

Danny rolled her eyes. "You're entirely too nice."

 

Laura shook her head, her hair nearly slipping out of her loose ponytail. "She just takes a while to warm up. She actually really…sweet." Her voice lowered as she spoke, trailing off at the end.

 

 Danny stopped chewing at Laura's admittance and for a long moment they just stared at each other. The pause gave Laura time to realize what she said…and how she had said it. Maybe telling your girlfriend that the woman who was mean to her is sweet wasn't the smartest move. But she couldn't help it. She didn't know why.

 

"Sweet?" Danny finally asked.

 

Laura opened her mouth to respond before settling on a shrug. Maybe if she could just keep her mouth shut, Danny would forget she said that. After arguably the most uncomfortable minute of Laura's life, Danny quietly went back to eating her apple as if nothing had happened.

 

But, as the tension lingered around them, Laura knew that their conversation wasn't one Danny was going to soon forget.

 

\---

 

Carmilla bashed her hand on the top of the cash register. The stupid thing refused to open and while, currently, there were no customers to charge since the entire loony town was in the square for some idiotic bonfire, she needed to fix it for the inevitable night crowd.

 

The door chimed as someone wandered in and Carmilla smashed her hand against the drawer again.

 

"One sec, just beating this thing into submission."

 

"Take your time."

 

Carmilla froze at the voice. When she looked up, Laura was standing across from her, arms tucked behind her back like a school child about to be scolded. Carmilla wasn't sure what to make of it. Laura had been pretty scarce around Silas for the past couple months and when she did turn up, her hand was always latched on to the jolly ginger giant.

 

She'd never come into the diner in the middle of the night again. Not since before the book tour. Though, the only reason Carmilla knew that was because she never stopped waiting. She shuddered at how pathetic she was.

 

"Hey." Laura offered in lieu of silence.

 

"Hey."

 

Laura took a tentative step toward the counter when the words flew out of Carmilla's mouth.

 

"Where's big red?"

 

Laura seemed to flinch at the question but recovered quickly. Carmilla ignored the flash of guilt that pulsed through her.

 

"At the bonfire. She got roped into manning the flames, being a firefighter and all."

 

Carmilla didn't know agent orange was a firefighter. Figured. She didn't know how to compete with that. Not that she was competing. Nope. She wasn't. She had no reason to.

 

She could tell it was a lie even in her own head.

 

"I…" Laura started before letting her voice fade. She looked at her feet and brought her hands in front of her, picking at her nails. She took a breath and started again.

 

"I wanted to make sure we were okay."

 

Carmilla's jaw tightened. Okay? Were they okay? The word nearly forced a dark laugh out of her, but she managed to contain it. Carmilla was fairly positive she wasn't going to be okay ever again. Not when every morning she scolded herself for whatever Laura made her feel. Not when she spent her days staring at the diner door, hoping Laura would walk through and knowing she wouldn’t. Not when she sat up every night in the slim hope that Laura was up too.

 

Okay? Carmilla was far from okay.  But instead of explaining any of her coldness, she just said "Why wouldn't we be?"

 

A look flashed over Laura's face, something Carmilla couldn't name but somehow still hurt. Instantly, she knew she'd said the wrong thing. She wished should could take the words back. She wished she could say the right ones. But she wasn't sure what to say, how to act. Everything was weird and she couldn't explain why; not without explaining everything. And Carmilla wasn't even sure she fully understood what she was feeling.

 

Laura moved back toward the door. "Um, I guess we're okay then."

 

Her hand was on the handle when Carmilla crossed in front of the counter in a blur.

 

"Laura…" She tried, desperate to fix whatever her indifference seemed to shatter.

 

"Have a good night, Carmilla."

 

Without another glance in her direction, Laura disappeared out of the diner and headed back to the bonfire.

 

That night, Carmilla didn't wait up in the diner.

 

Instead, she laid in the darkness of her apartment and tried to pretend she wasn't heartbroken over someone who was never her's to begin with.

 

\---

 

She hadn't been there. When Laura had walked by Silas, the lights had been off and the door was locked. It was the first time in months that Laura had let herself walk that part of town when she wandered at night. She hadn't been back to the diner since her awkward interaction with Carmilla the evening of the bonfire. She couldn't bring herself to go in.

 

But the night, that was their time. Or it had been, once. And Laura thought if she could just reach out, prove to Carmilla that she wanted to mend whatever had somehow been broken…

 

The lights had been out, though. And the diner owner was no where to be seen. Laura wished she could understand why the image had made her stomach clench.

 

Laura snuck back into her house, attempting to close the front door as quietly as possible. Unfortunately, its hard to hide noise from someone who is awake.

 

"Where have you been?" Danny's voice was more worried than angry, but Laura knew anger wasn't far behind.

 

Danny stood in the hallway, her clothes rumpled from sleep and her arms crossed over her chest like a shield. Laura could feel the guilt seep into her bones. She hadn't even taken her phone. That was probably a bad idea, in hindsight.

 

"Where have you been, Laura?"

 

Danny's voice was tight. Accusatory. The inflection made Laura blush.

 

"I walk." Laura countered. "You know I'm bad at sleeping, you know I go on walks sometimes."

 

Danny shook her head and Laura tried to ignore the way her eyes glistened with held in tears. "No, Laura. Where do you go?"

 

Laura sighed, brushing past Danny to head into the kitchen. She shuffled around in the cupboards before pulling out a clean glass. "I told you Danny, I just wander around. I don't go anywhere."

 

Danny stood in the doorway, her body still ridged even as Laura flitted about the kitchen. She was silent for a moment before her voice came out, low and angry.

 

"Where do you walk to, Laura? Just answer me. Honestly. For once. When you walk, where do you go?"

 

Laura stopped by the sink, taken aback. Laura had never lied to Danny. She was a terrible liar so she honestly didn't see the point. Yet the tension in Danny's voice, the bite in her words…the implication was there. Laura felt her spine tingle.

 

She never cheated on Danny. She had never cheated on anyone. Sure, maybe when she walked at night she would sometimes go by Silas. And, maybe, she would look in to see if Carmilla was still awake. But she'd only been awake one of the times and Laura hadn't gone in, despite how much she wanted to. Not because she was worried about cheating. Because she didn't like Carmilla. The idea that she might cheat with Carmilla…that was…that was…

 

Laura swallowed.

 

She'd never realized where she walked at night. Granted, she'd been avoiding Silas as of late. But when she walked, it was what she circled. She mapped her whole journeys based on it; seeing it or not. Silas was her circle's center. 

 

Every time. Every single time. She wasn't just walking. She was walking to something…to someone. She'd been walking to Carmilla. No. That…that wasn't…Laura's hand reached out and gripped the back of a kitchen chair to stabilize herself.

 

Danny sighed. "Laura…"

 

Laura's eyes flashed up and met Danny's, her confusion turning into unfair anger. "I'm not cheating on you. I know that's what you're worried about. But I'm not. And I won't. And I'd appreciate it if you didn't treat me like a child who doesn't understand what you're implying."

 

Danny sighed again.

 

Laura pulled out the chair and plopped down. Danny stood in the doorway for a minute longer before she disappeared back to the bedroom, her arms still wrapped around her waist.

 

Laura wasn't lying. She would never cheat on Danny.

 

But as Laura sat in the kitchen, the urge to wander the streets still itching in her legs, she wondered if what she felt for Carmilla was something that would go away. She hoped it was. For Danny, she desperately hoped it was.

 

Deep in her chest, she knew it wasn’t.

 

\---

 

Carmilla had accepted that Laura wasn't coming back to Silas. She tried to form a new normal; a life where she didn't look at the door every time it chimed with a childish sense of hope. It was hard, but she was trying.

 

Still, when Laura's new book came out, Carmilla went and bought it immediately. Carefully, she tucked it into her shelf by her bed, next to the other two books she had by the tiny novelist.

 

She couldn't read it. She didn't think she was strong enough to take in the words when she would only be able to hear them in Laura's voice. Still, she looked at it every night before she went to sleep and felt proud that, while Laura may have unknowingly ruined Carmilla, Carmilla hadn't stopped Laura from achieving all she wanted.

 

\---

 

Laura sat in her empty house, her legs twitching to walk to Silas. She couldn't.

 

She heard the door lock unlatch and Danny wander in. Danny shouted she was home, her voice already spilling out in an insane story about a cat stuck in a chimney until she walked into the kitchen and saw Laura at the table.

 

Danny's story abruptly stopped. Laura held her gaze, willing her eyes not to waiver. She'd been thinking about this conversation for weeks; what she was going to say, how she was going to say it, the reasons she hadn't told her before. As if reading her thoughts, Danny's shoulders slumped as she slid into the chair across from her.

 

After Laura had said all she wanted, after nearly two hours of conversation that wasn't bitter or cruel, Laura was certain of two things. First was that Danny Lawrence was way too good for her. And second was that, finally, Laura knew what she was walking toward.

 

\---

 

Carmilla trudged out of the kitchen, tossing her hat onto the counter, when she noticed it hit the hands of Laura Hollis.

 

She hadn't been in Silas for months. It made her skin tingle to see her seated at the counter, her hands folded and her golden hair slipping over her shoulders. It was closing; Carmilla would normally stack the chairs and head up to her hilariously small apartment. But not with Laura there, not with her looking so god damn perfect in the dark.

 

"I'm sorry." Laura whispered, her eyes on her interwoven fingers.

 

"I don't know what I did to make you hate me but I know I didn't help it by staying away and I am so sorry."

 

When she looked up, Carmilla could see the brimming, unshed tears held in her eyes. It made her chest ache. She was so screwed. So completely, infinitely, devastatingly screwed.

 

"Laura…" Carmilla tried.

 

"No, Carm." She cut in. "I know we aren't friends, like before. And I miss you. I miss you so much that it hurts." Her words started to slur, running together with the strength she was using not to cry.

 

"I can't think about you without it hurting and I don't like it. I want to come back, Carm. Please. Let me come back."

 

Laura's eyes met Carmilla's and that's when Carmilla knew she was going to make the biggest mistake of her entire life.

 

Without pausing for a breath, Carmilla crossed in front of the counter, moved to Laura, grabbed her shirt collar, and smashed their lips together.

 

Stars exploded behind her eyes and rippled through out her body. Carmilla gasped at the impact and Laura surged forward to grab at the back of Carmilla's neck. She pressed her fingertips into Carmilla's skin and it forced a groan out of her throat. Carmilla's hands slid into Laura's hair, holding her mouth tighter to her own. A whimper breathed out of Laura's mouth and Carmilla pulled back, just enough to separate them.

 

Laura's mouth chased after her, their lips brushing in a way that made Carmilla shake. Laura's hands slid to the collar of her flannel and pulled, fastening them together. Carmilla groaned as her teeth sank into Laura's lower lip before she soothed the skin with her tongue. Laura whined high in the back of her throat, and breathed out a whimpered sigh of Carmilla's name. It was at the utterance that Carmilla realized what they were doing.

 

She pulled back, her lips leaving Laura's with a soft pop.

 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" Carmilla panted.

 

Laura tried to cut in, her hands slipping down to Carmilla's hips. "Carm…"

 

Carmilla pulled her hands away and stumbled back a few steps. "I am so sorry, Laura. You're with someone, I'm so sorry…I didn't…I didn't mean to…"

 

"I broke up with Danny."

 

White noise filled Carmilla's ears. Laura's mouth was still moving, words were coming out, but she couldn’t hear them. No Danny. No girlfriend. That couldn't be right. Fate didn't let things like that happen to Carmilla.

 

"Three weeks ago. I wanted to tell you sooner, wanted to come by sooner, but I…I'm pretty terrified of you. Of what I feel. For you."

 

The words hung between them in the dark. Carmilla's eyes were wide, her jaw slack. Laura broken up with Danny. Because of feelings she had for Carmilla. The pause stretched between them, Laura shifting uncomfortably on the diner stool.

 

"Um…Carm? Are you gonna say anything or should I go because this whole silence thing is kind of freaking me out and…"

 

Laura kept talking, words kept filling the air but all Carmilla could think about was that Laura could be hers. If she could just make her body move, make her voice come out, she could be with Laura. In a blink, she was back in Laura's space, fastening their mouths together and cutting off Laura's ramble.

 

God, it was the best thing Carmilla had felt in her whole life. Laura's lips moving against her own, her breath in her mouth, her body pushing into all the hollows of Carmilla's. She was drunk; drunk off the small woman in front of her. Laura let out a whimper as Carmilla's tongued flicked inside her mouth. It lit a fire up Carmilla's veins.

 

"Laura…" Carmilla panted, pulling her lips away.

 

Laura's mouth fell to Carmilla's neck, her hands slipping under her loose flannel. The heat from her palms was searing into her skin, making her crazy. Her nails trailed fire across her ribs and the heat of it settled low in her stomach. If Laura didn't stop now, Carmilla was going to take her against the damn diner counter.

 

"Laura…" Carmilla warned again, just as Laura's mouth found her earlobe.

 

Her soft tongue flicked at the tender skin. Carmilla stifled a cry. Good god, if she was only doing that on her ear…Carmilla slid her hands up Laura's thighs and settled on her waist.

 

"Carm…" Laura breathed into her ear, "please take me upstairs."

 

Carmilla pulled back, her eyes finding Laura's in the darkness. Was she serious? Did she…she couldn't mean…

 

Laura pulled back, her hand softly cupping Carmilla's jaw before she leaned in to place the softest kiss to her lips. If it was possible to melt, Carmilla would have been in a puddle on the floor.

 

Slipping off the stool, Laura laced their hands together and wandered toward the stairs that led to Carmilla's small apartment above the diner. Laura threw the most bashful yet completely sexy look over her shoulder as she tugged Carmilla up the stairs.

 

As Carmilla trailed after her into the dark hallway, she realized it wouldn't take much for her to follow Laura anywhere.

 

\---

 

Laura wrung her hands together as she stood in the center of Carmilla's dark apartment. The diner owner was hastily throwing strewn clothes into a pile and shoving empty beer bottles into the sink.

 

"Sorry, I uh…I don't really have company." Carmilla said as she buzzed past Laura to toss an old to-go container in the trash.

 

If Laura hadn't been petrified beyond belief, she would have found the sight of frazzled Carm adorable. However, after her bold move to finally get with the woman of her dreams, she realized that she was going to have to follow through on said move. Which may have caused her to panic. A little.

 

Then, Carmilla was in front of her. Her eyes flickered all over Laura's face and Laura could tell she too was at a loss.

 

"Um…I, uh…" Carmilla started, her hand rubbing at the back of her neck. Even in the darkness, Laura could see the faint blush staining the tips of her ears. It made Laura's heart swell.

 

With a few shaky steps, Laura was in Carmilla's space. She took her face in her hands and brought their lips together. Instinctively, Carmilla's arms wrapped around Laura's waist and hauled her in closer. Laura could feel a smirk toying at the corner of Carmilla's mouth as they kissed and she nearly squealed in delight.

 

Carmilla. She was finally kissing Carmilla. God, she didn't know kissing could feel like this. Laura's breath slowly turned into pants as Carmilla's lips slipped down to her neck. Her teeth gently scrapped the edge of her jaw and Laura couldn't stop from rocking her hips forward. An answering groan rumbled in Carmilla's chest and the vibration made Laura's eyes nearly cross. How could she be so turned on so quickly? As Carmilla's hands spread over Laura's back, she knew it was because of the woman she was kissing.

 

"Carm…" Laura murmured into Carmilla's mouth. She received an answering hum that made her toes curl.

 

"Bed." Laura prompted before her fingers began unbuttoning the familiar flannel Carmilla wore. When her shaking fingers managed to finish the job, Laura slowly pushed the fabric away to reveal Carmilla's pale, beautiful skin. Her eyes scanned her chest and stomach and shoulders unabashedly.

 

"Holy shit." Laura breathed. Carmilla laughed.

 

"I don't think I've ever heard you swear, cupcake."

 

In an instant, Carmilla's bra was on the floor next to her shirt and Laura's own top was gone. Laura's head was spinning with how fast Carmilla had moved. Carmilla leaned forward, pressing her bare chest to Laura's bra clad one.

 

"I think I'd like to hear you do it again." She husked into Laura's ear.

 

"Fuck." Laura's hands flew to Carmilla's jeans, popping the button open with a new haste.

 

The next few moments were a flurry of hands and clothes. Sloppy kisses landed on newly exposed shoulders and collarbones. Nervous fingers slid across chests and over stomachs. Then, somehow, Laura found herself pressed into Carmilla's bed. Her body was covered only by her underwear, Carmilla's equally unclothed form laying over her.

 

Laura's hands fisted in Carmilla's dark hair as they kissed. Their bodies slotted together perfectly and every inch of skin that Carmilla touched seemed to ignite. Carmilla's mouth left her own to trace down her neck to her chest. At a torturously slow pace, her lips ghosted all over, ignore the part Laura so desperately wanted her to touch.

 

"Carm…" She whined, shocked by the highness of her voice.

 

At her plea, Carmilla took a nipple in her mouth. Laura arched upwards, her hands tightening in Carmilla's wild hair.

 

"Fucking hell." Her voice didn't sound like her own anymore. It sounded far away and ethereal. Carmilla's tongue was doing absolutely sinful things as her right hand slowly slid down toward the waistband of Laura's underwear. Laura's hips ground upward on instinct, desperate and feverish. She needed Carmilla like air. She'd never felt so frantic and yet so calm before. It made her head spin.

 

Carmilla's mouth moved to her other breast and Laura was certain she was swearing more than she ever had in her entire life. Carmilla's right hand dipped into her underwear but no further. Her mouth moved up again, her teeth scraping over that terribly sensitive spot at the crook of Laura's jaw.

 

"Fuck, I love you." Laura heard her voice rasp.

 

Carmilla stilled, their shallow breaths the only sound in the room. Laura felt like ice water had been sloshed through her veins. She did not mean to say that. Not now. Not the first night they had ever kissed. She was going to wait, she was going to woo Carmilla, and show her how much she loved her before she blurted that piece of information out.

 

Carmilla slowly raised her head and looked into Laura's eyes. Laura had to suppress a gasp at the emotions swimming in Carmilla's dark irises. And before her brain could stop her filter, the words came tumbling out of Laura's mouth again in a soft whisper.

 

"I love you, Carm."

 

A sigh fell out of Carmilla as she rested her forehead against Laura's. The hand that was still under the waistband of Laura's underwear slowly slid further down. Laura's hip rocked up to meet the wandering fingers.

 

"I love you too." Carmilla breathed against Laura's mouth, just before she connected their lips and slid a finger inside Laura's waiting heat.

 

Laura was hard-pressed to remember her own a name. All she could think was Carmilla, Carmilla, Carmilla. She was everywhere. She was under Laura's skin, she was the pounding of her heart, she was the air that filled the room. It didn't take much before Laura was shaking and swearing, clinging to Carmilla like she was the only thing that existed.

 

Laura couldn't stop herself from whispering her love declaration over and over; into the hollow of Carmilla's collarbones, over the valley between her breasts, against the damp heat between her thighs. Laura said the words over and over, pressing them into Carmilla until she too went tumbling into the sea of release.

 

After, among the rumpled sheets and haphazard pillows, Laura held Carmilla as she draped herself over her torso. Carmilla's nose was pressed against the skin of her neck, her warm breaths ghosting over her throat.

 

"Carm?" Laura murmured.

 

Carmilla gave a sleepy hum in response.

 

"I'm sorry it took me so long."

 

Carmilla moved, leaning up on her elbow so she could look down at Laura. She smiled and pressed a slow kiss to her lips.

 

"It wasn't just you, cupcake. Took me a while too."

 

She unceremoniously flopped back down onto Laura, knocking the wind from her chest. Laura laughed and shoved her shoulder as Carmilla threw her arm across Laura's waist.

 

"Besides…" Carmilla said, placing a swift kiss to Laura's collarbone. "You should know by now I'd never forget my best customer."

 

Laura could feel Carmilla's grin against her skin and rolled her eyes.

 

"You're awful." Laura laughed out. Carmilla nodded her head and snuggled further into Laura, releasing a long, peaceful sigh. Laura looked down at her, at the surly diner owner who once made her a sundae because she was sad, and wondered what she had done to be so lucky.

 

Whatever it was, Laura knew she would spend every day for the rest of her life being grateful.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope some other Gilmore Girls and Carmilla fans will enjoy this. 
> 
> Update: I think I have a tumblr. One of them online blog machines. Same name - ofarrowsandspacemen. Yell and me or whatever there. I have no clue how it works. So...Good. Moving on.
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment with your likes or dislikes and thanks for stopping by!


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